


uncover

by doja



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Feelings Realization, First Kiss, High School, Kyman - Freeform, M/M, Rough Kissing, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26204008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doja/pseuds/doja
Summary: To finally defeat Cartman once and for all, Kyle has to become his own worst enemy.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman
Comments: 10
Kudos: 145





	uncover

“Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Cartman’s laugh echoed throughout the living room of his own house, which only made Kyle’s fists ball up even tighter.

“What, bro?” he snickered. “It was just a joke.”

“You told Lola I’m _gay?”_ he scoffed. “What the _hell_ did you do that for?!”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I just felt like it.”

“Goddamnit, Cartman,” Kyle stormed across the room. “I was supposed to take her to homecoming. You fucked it all up.”

Cartman crossed his arms smugly. Nothing brought him more joy than watching Kyle rage out. The way his face burned red as his hair and his knuckles turned white...he could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. The homecoming dance had been approaching and just Kyle’s luck, Cartman had been spying on him the very moment he’d asked Lola to the dance. Sweet, unassuming Lola. She was in for a treat.

Cartman didn’t know why he did it. Maybe he was still bitter he would be attending all alone, if attending at all. There were a few other gay kids at school, but those kids were out of the closet and they probably all had dates, to begin with. And even if they didn’t, Cartman was well-aware he wasn’t anyone’s type. Not particularly tall, still overweight, still loud and obnoxious. If girls weren’t into him, why would any guys be into him? Maybe straight guys were less picky than girls were, but other gay guys sure as hell weren’t. Cartman was already reluctant to admit he was desperate for love, but now he was really beginning to give up on love.

Probably why he loved to fuck with Kyle’s love life. That and any time he saw Kyle with a girl, it made _his_ fists ball up. Kyle Broflovski getting lucky before him was borderline offensive. Cartman was definitely more popular around school, or at least more infamous. Kyle had a social advantage as a basketball player, but his obsession with all things academic made him much less cooler than Stan and his garage band, and Kenny who was popular despite his introversion just because he was so charismatic. So if Stan had a date, and Kenny had a date, he didn’t care. But Kyle…Kyle wasn’t _allowed_ to have a date. And that was simply because Cartman liked to tease around with him. But that was the only reason…

Or, maybe Cartman was jealous because his popularity only steamed from negative attention. He was dramatic, stupid, and loud, and received _attention,_ but zero respect like Kyle did. Kyle was so much more advantaged that Cartman in so many areas; it was stupid. If there was one time Cartman could maintain the upper hand it was when it came to romance and he held that upper hand psychologically. Psychologically, between Kyle and Cartman, Cartman remained undefeated, and he planned to remain undefeated. Kyle couldn’t shake him. Maybe _that_ was why he took any opportunity he had to sabotage Kyle’s love life. It allowed him to keep that upper hand, at least in that department.

“Look at it this way, Kyle,” Cartman batted his eyes. “All _I_ did was tell her that you’re gay. She had the choice not to believe me, but she did. If she _thought_ you were straight, she’d still be going out with you, implying she already had her doubts about your sexuality. I was just helping you out.”

“You realize this is the second time you’ve gone around, telling everybody I’m _gay?”_ he raged. “Lola already _thought_ I was gay because of elementary school. I finally get a second chance with her, and you ruined it!”

“She already thought you were gay!” Cartman rolled his eyes.

“The only reason you fuck around with my life is because you’re miserable with your own!” Kyle snapped. “Chasing away the girls I date isn’t gonna make you any less lonely, Cartman.”

“I’m not _lonely.”_

“Yes, you are. You are a lonely, miserable person,” Kyle narrowed his eyes. “So you take it out on _me!”_

Cartman pondered this. Was he lonely? Was he really that alone? He guessed it would be nice to find love at some point in his life, but he felt much less lonely when he had friends. He felt much less alone knowing he had Kyle to fall back on if he ever needed to fall back onto someone, which was, indeed, very often. Maybe that was why he hated that Kyle had a date and he didn’t. Not because _he_ didn’t have a date and because Kyle _did_ have a date, but because it was _Kyle_ who had a date.

And it was lonely knowing that Kyle was actively looking for people he could spend more intimate time with…in fact, it had made Cartman a little _giddy_ when Kyle barged into his house, absolutely enraged. He ate up any attention he could get. Maybe he had to fuck with Kyle to remind Kyle he existed…it wasn’t as if they didn’t see each other daily and spend time together outside of school, but it wasn’t _fair_ that Kyle was going out with a girl and diverting his attention from Cartman.

“I am _not!”_

“Yes, you are,” Kyle scoffed. “And you’re gonna stay lonely whether or not you _fuck_ up _my_ life.”

“Shut up, Kyle!” he snapped. “She was gonna dump you anyway, like every other girlfriend you’ve ever had.”

That comment touched a nerve within Kyle. From his childhood, all the way into his teenage years, his love life remained spotty and unsuccessful. _“I_ dumped my last girlfriend.”

“Yeah, cause she was cheating on you with some dude online,” Cartman sneered.

Kyle twitched. “How do you know that?”

He grinned cheekily. “Who do you think catfished her?”

“I’m so _sick_ of you,” Kyle snapped. He grabbed Cartman by the collar of his hoodie, pushing him down onto the floor, up against the wall. Of _course_ Cartman was the reason Breanne ghosted him. Sure, he’d been the one to officially pull the plug, but no wonder she’d turned so cold, just like every other girl he’d ever been into. Cartman had put an end to it. It was always Cartman.

Cartman who got under his skin. Cartman who fucked up his whole life. Cartman who he had to get himself involved with, involuntary or not, it was Cartman who his whole _world_ seemed to revolve around. It infuriated him, the way Cartman gave him that smug grin. Kyle’s fists gripped around his collar, Cartman was still grinning like an idiot…

…until he wasn’t. His face contorted into something very different. Yes, a grin, but…was that fear in his eyes? Fear, or something very different...

“So?” Kyle snapped. “What’ve you got to say for yourself, huh?”

“I’m still not sorry,” Cartman murmured, evading his eye-line. “It was hilarious.”

“Look me in the eyes, fatass,” he glared. “I’m sick of your bullshit. All you do is fuck around with _my_ life and I’m not tolerating it anymore.”

Cartman's eyes said ‘fear’ but his cheeks were beet red and flushed. “Don’t body-shame me, Kyle!” laughed nervously.

“I’m not body-shaming you, it’s an objective fact that you are a _fatass,”_ Kyle pulled their faces closer together.

“Have you even seen your mother?!” Cartman winced. “I’d say you come from a long _line_ of chubby chasers, Kyle.”

“What’re you implying, huh?” Kyle scoffed, eyes narrowing down to slits as he gripped even tighter.

“You know what I’m implying,” he sneered. “I think you’re _enjoying_ this just a little too much, _Kyle.”_

But Kyle’s head was ready to explode. At 17, how did Cartman still have the upper hand? Kyle was taller, smarter, physically stronger, yet Cartman had some sort of psychological advantage over him that he couldn’t quite figure out. And Cartman _knew_ he did too. That made it so much worse.

But then Kyle looked back down at Cartman’s face. The way he couldn’t even make eye contact. The way his cheeks remained flushed red. He noticed the little bit of tremble in his voice and in moments of silence he could hear Cartman’s heart pounding. Kyle’s eyes widened. _Oh,_ he thought. _Oh. Oh, my god. Oh._

Kyle thought of their history. Cartman telling their classmates he was gay, and that Cartman himself was gay, and that he and Kyle were an item. Cartman sabotaging every relationship he’d ever had, up until that very moment in time. Cartman’s flushed face and the way sweat beaded down his forehead every time Kyle touched him.

_Oh._

So Kyle cleared his throat and nearly spat out his next words. “You’re driving me _INSANE!”_

“Good!” Cartman scoffed, then grinning in delight. “I _hate_ you!”

Kyle smirked.

And then he leaned downward, still gripping Cartman’s collar as he aggressively pressed their lips together. Cartman’s eyes flew shut and his stomach flopped, as he grabbed at Kyle’s arms momentarily. There wasn’t any point in denying it anymore…he really, really wanted Kyle to keep kissing him. Only if momentarily, he could feel the burning sensation of euphoria echo through his chest and his head was light.

And he fell back down against the wall, as Kyle loosened his grip and broke away.

Cartman’s eyes widened. With the first time in his life, he may have turned speechless.

“Well?” Kyle raised a brow.

His mouth gaped. “You… _I…”_

 _Who’s got the upper hand now?_ Kyle thought, as he paced towards the front door and twisting it open with a click. He looked back only once.

“I think you _enjoyed_ that just a little too much, _Cartman.”_

And Kyle slammed the door behind him, slamming his hand over his own mouth. He’d kissed Cartman. _He’d kissed Cartman._ His palms were sweaty and his legs felt like jello, but he’d finally done it, he’d gone and flipped their dynamic on its head; _he kissed Cartman._ He felt lightheaded.

And then Kyle proceeded to spend the rest of the night wondering if it really was him who had the upper hand this time.

After all, Cartman hadn’t been the only one to enjoy that kiss just a little too much.

**Author's Note:**

> (งಠ_ಠ)ง ♡ σ( •̀ ω •́ σ)


End file.
